Blogdangit

Having a Moment

Hello friends. At this very moment I am sipping on a glass of Pinot Grigio by Sutter Home. GOOD STUFF! I'm sitting here actually thinking about the contents of the writing projects I'm working on. I'm also thinking about how I sooooooooooooo miss my friends, co-workers, and acquaintances along the highways and byways of this great country. I miss the snow storms and white outs and temps so cold, it became an advisory to expose skin for more than 30 minutes. I miss the airports and delays and shuttles and short term parking in Dallas, Houston, Chicago, Boston, Atlanta, New York, Memphis, Phoenix, Minneapolis, Philadelphia, Denver, and Omaha. I'm sure I've missed a few. I miss the cities and countries and mountains and hills, and people of different cultures, race and structure. I miss the Maine lobster in Maine, the walks along Manhattan and the somber feeling of the atmosphere one year after the towers fell. I miss the country roads and the farms and strangers taking me in their homes and cooking me steak dinners and seeing tractor pulls for the first time. I miss hearing high school children talk about feeding the chickens every morning and milking the cows before school. (much admirable to see young people so disciplined)

I miss the sand storms, and the thunderstorms just outside my hotel window as the winds blew so hard it hailed golf balls. I miss the Cajun cooking in the hotels feeding staff of two or three because they had never had the taste of Louisiana – while being over a thousand miles from Cajun land (home). I miss having to wear the long winter coat, hat, gloves and scarf and waterproof shoes just to go to the grocery store.

I miss the visits to the Mall of America, the stroll along Virginia Beach and staring at the huge Nova Scotia cruise ship just before it sailed to sea as it sat on the Atlantic Ocean. I miss the interstates 55, 65, 40, 95, 85, 44, 35, 10 west, 70 and 80, to name a few.

I've only scratched the surface here. There are so many memories and I am grateful and blessed to have endured the wonderful experience of these things and more during my travels. Always being an adventurous type, this just makes me proud to have traveled thus far.

If you're new to my blog, please dig through the archives and travel back with me as I took you there.

I realize now that I was creating history. I didn't realize the importance of the experience until now when it hit me that I've… been places and have seen life's wonders through many things. I'm honored. I know it was planned and here I am. As that chapter has closed, the livelihood of the experience is forever embedded in my soul.

I'm also thinking about the here and now. How I'm indulging in the arts. How I'm connecting to another chapter in my life. How I'm reaching out to find the ultimate purpose of my well-being. I believe it all plays a part of my existence. And again, I'm thankful.

I think I'm just having a moment. There's never enough time in a day to absorb it all.

Happily Married and Miserable?

I'm having a loud thought here. So excuse me! But uhm, why are so many people happily married to the outside world (you and me) and miserable as hell with each other? I'm just saying! And you never know until they say something or God forbid the worst happens and you think, "I didn't know they had problems!" As I'm going through this clutter control in my life, there's no way I could be or can be that uncomfortable regardless of kids, embarrassment, longevity, mission to please other people, etc., I'd have to be free. Especially when I know it's not getting any better and I've given it my 150% even when he feels like I, or I feel like he really hasn't.

Reading about this topic all the time in magazine articles proves there's a trend of unsettlement. Perhaps it is the ways of the world. The fast-paced growing technology ever evolving world of less times for people that matter and more time for everything else. It's crazy out there! Marriage is a beautiful thing. It's a joyous and tearful occasion to see two people in love and vowing to share the rest of their lives together. What's more sacred than that?

But then after the hoop-la, it's interesting how the gel starts to mold. Some are fortunate to be blessed with the holy union and others, let's face it, are doing it because it's something to do. I'm not just making this up; I've heard these words from people I've been acquainted with.

Then there's the type of marriage that lasts for years and years, and finally somebody or both bodies get fed up and they fall apart. Some after the kids are grown and on their own! But what about all that CHEATING that took place during the time of the unhappy marriage to keep the sanity? I know there are various issues involved with some marriages, but cheating is usually the said outlet to coping with those issues.

And for the sake of God, please don't let there be any fighting going on. This is automatically the SIGN & time to get out and move on. Too many bad consequences come out of abusive marriages.

My brain is not in such tune to accept from my spouse (if I had one) any cheating or fighting or hitting on me like I'm a punching bag. I don't care about the 'give a second chance thing.' I'll give you a second chance to make other mistakes, but when you go against the bondage set in place before God and the people who witnessed this holy matrimony, you just threw everything away. Simple! Not saying I wouldn't forgive you, however, I sure as heck wouldn't consider you and me still a couple… WHUT! Plueease!

Every woman knows themselves and their strengths. We're conditioned to accept certain things like the fact that men are going to cheat, or he's going to hit you, regardless of how much he loves you. That's bull-crap. And there's no way I would accept that analogy. And vice-versa, some men believe women are designed to cheat. He too shouldn't accept it from us as well. Nada!

I'm only speaking from what I know and what I've seen and witnessed with many people I've engaged my life with. It's always sad to see marriages fall apart. But it didn't just fall apart. I believe marriage is a job. I believe it's not about one or the other, but about each other. I believe it's a growing process. Some are BAD from the beginning. (I know this first hand!!!) But just get out! Please get out when the fighting or cheating starts to take place. Things just escalate into something worse. (I know this first hand as well!)

Life is too short to be unhappy and of discontent. We meet each other in life as strangers first! Sometimes it's good to keep it that way.

Life Chapters

Some have asked recently, do I miss my corporate work? I miss some part of it. I miss some of the people. I miss more of the excitement of my travels. What I don't miss is the… aw… well, I'm gon' leave that alone. I've always had much respect for my company, ahem… ex-company and clearly don't blame it for the issues which… hmmm well, I aint gon' take it there.

Not sure if y'all knew, but my background is project management and the one lesson I've learned more than anything is that babysitting grown folks with their childish and immature as well as lack of moral behavior is a talent in itself. And right now, I'm not up for the challenge. Maybe someday I'll go back. But it would have to be different, because I am different. I'm undergoing some type element which defines the strength of me. And for the most part, I've decided my life has got to be uncluttered of unnecessary clutter. See there's a difference between necessary clutter and unnecessary clutter and one has to know which is controlling their destiny and if that's the road they want to take. I'm on a daily path of clearing out soul debris. When you're mentally and physically affected by let's just say unnecessary clutter and you're waiting and wanting to breathe and fly freely like a butterfly without all the obstacles in your way – is where I'm at in my life cipher. As selfish as it seems right now, it is all about self satisfaction. I've got to do me, because there is soooo much of me to do. And time is not waiting for me to continue to deliberate.

I am fortunate and blessed to have certain gifts and believe me this is no way bragging rights. Y'all know me better than that. I'm keeping it real. I've always had the creation of music in my soul. I've always kept a pen in my hand and a tablet close by no matter where I was in the world. I've always had the gift of gab, so-to-speak, because I enjoy people and good healthy conversation. I enjoy the world of art which is like breath pumping through my lungs. I'm a creative person. Most tell me I had a certain creative gift as a leader – and maybe whom I was designed to be is what reveals that trait. However, I had to not waste another moment on whether I needed to do me, plus as an added attraction, situations were not getting any better than what I was willing to accept or adapt to.

You know when it's no longer your battle. I've always heard the phrase all through my work career – you choose your battles. Some are worthy of the fight, and some are ones you toss out of your memory bank and considered them void. During the latter part of last month (Oct), it flashed clearly in my face that it was time to close this book and begin another ending of this time and place in my life.

And who knows, maybe that book will be re-read. But until then, I'm good.

So here I am.

A TuesDay with ‘Lady’

Hello everyone. My day started off really good, and then it got better and even much better. I went to my previous job and had a good visit with everyone. They all asked was I now ready to come back home – meaning back to work with them. They made me feel really special. And you know that's always a good feeling. They extended hugs and excitement, and strong words of care. They've all left a piece of themselves with me and I've obviously done the same thing with them.

I received a couple of phone calls from co-workers I had not spoken with for quite some time. It seems those phone calls were in sync with the flow of which my day was going. The conversations were more encouraging as I take on my creative side of life.

I later drove to a very elegant Martini Bar for the first time and ordered a couple of dirty vodka martinis. The bartender (Chris) and I talked for about 45 minutes. I learned where he was from and how he became a bartender. He's a young white gentleman, clean cut and very handsome. He resides in New Orleans. As I sat at the bar, I also talked with a good friend on the cell phone, which had planned a special and romantic birthday surprise for her boyfriend which didn't work out. I was sorry to hear that because she had been planning it for days.

After leaving the Martini Bar, I drove to a Ri.te A.id for a few items. At the checkout counter was a boy about the age of nine or ten, purchasing a large and very nice notebook binder with pockets and a large ruled notebook. His total was $18. His little face changed as he pulled out his ten. He told the cashier (which was an older man who appeared to be a Manager) that he didn't have enough money and he was going to put the binder back. I then told the cashier that I would pay the difference. The little boy looked up at me and humbly said, "Thank you "ma'am." That did it for me, there was nothing more precious. I asked the little boy if the money was for him and if he needed a receipt. He said it was his money as he gave me the ten dollar bill. The cashier bagged the child's items and the child left.

As I placed everything on my credit card, the cashier told me several times that what I did was a nice thing and I was a special person. I could see the compassion in his eyes as well. He told me the next time I came into the store to make him aware of my presence, as he wants to always acknowledge me. He also wished me well during the Holidays.

As I thought about this event while leaving the store, it really wasn't about me or receiving some sort of recognition; it was about that little boy having the materials he wanted and/or needed toward his education. That's a powerful situation and there was no way I would not have helped that kid.

I drove home and here I am…

 

 

Mo’ Combusation

First, I am ecstatic and thankful for the love and SUPPORT from so many co-workers across the land that has gotten wind of my recent resignation. It's always a blessing to know you've touched somebody one way or another without even realizing it. Although they were shocked by the news, yet understand -- everyone has no DOUBT that I'll be okay – as they know me! Most are aware of my music/writing endeavor which is something I've toyed with part-time during my reign with the corporate world. Thanks guys for everything, I will NEVER forget any of you. And hey we can still get our travel on -- off the clock! And who knows, maybe someday, I'll be back!

Other news,

I am feeling much better today. I'm still a bit nasally, but I can taste food now. My ears are much better. I'm back in the studio doing what I do.

As for the question I asked a few days ago about PowerPoint. I ended up buying software to convert my PPT file to video to burn to DVD. As for compression in sending the file via email, well that is still a mystery. After converting the file, I was able to upload it to YouTube and share the file that way. There was degradation as I was basically using the trial version of the software just to submit sample copies of the presentation for viewing of family members and friends. If anyone comes up with anything on the compression end for a file that size – holla at me!

It's on and popping in the studio. I just finished this R&B Ballad Joint. I may post it to here if y'all want to check it out. I'll even name it R&B Ballad joint, so you'll know which one it is. I've got another commercial (radio spot) to do. I'm looking for the perfect voice to do the voice-over. So, I'm on a hunt! I absolutely can't do anything with my vocals yet.

I was able to book a Christmas Party gig for December 16^th. I will be the DJ. It's a semi-formal gig. (I love those! even the formals – I love elegancy!) And it's a five-hour gig!!! Now that's toooooo long! Most corporate parties are about 2-3 hours long. They've planned on about 200 people attending. So see, a sista is doing a little something. I'm also seeking more writing assignments.

And y'all for the most part – I'm relieved! (don't know what that means other than that's what it feels like)

It's ya gurl,

Luvs,

 

Significance

Every once in a while, the doors of the universe open up and allows a certain significance into your life. A certain substance that feels like it's meant to be. Something you've tried to not understand because at one point it wasn't time. Fate roars with its way of displaying front-and-center situations that feel comfortable even from the first time. What makes it feel like the impossible is possible is when the connection is valid. When one tries to hide the reality of what works and what doesn't, it all becomes confusing. Life is full of treasures; most we still seek and others are rare to find. And when one knows a treasure is right before their eyes; it's something one should admire. Although you are not sure of its inner vision, you know of its value.

A Turning Point

 

Today Was My Very Last Day At Work After A Two-Week Resignation Notice

I've been quiet about this as it was a tough decision; however it was the right decision for me now. I will miss several special people – SEVERAL! The blessing is I can always go back. For now, I plan to indulge in the studio and write full-time. Y'all pray for me as I soar… into the future which awaits me.